She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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