there was a trapeze. enough said
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
