They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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