You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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