so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
