Screwed.edu
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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