Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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