Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
