Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
