we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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