i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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