I didn't shave. On purpose
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
