Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
