ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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