But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
