Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
