mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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