is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
