drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize