VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
