I am midnight drunk by noon
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
