Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
