Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
