I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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