its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize