I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
