so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize