imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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