ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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