New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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