i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
