He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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