last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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