I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
