I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize