Where are you?
In a non slutty way
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
