We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
