I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
