the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
