I wish I could teleport
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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