just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
