no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
