btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
