Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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