I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
