I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
