what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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