I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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