she woke up with a sticky ear
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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