im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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