If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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