how can u be prego again
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
