Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
