the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
there was a trapeze. enough said
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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