Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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