Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We're too hungover to prance.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
