I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize