I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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