His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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