I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
