Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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