hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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