Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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