ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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