Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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