so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
