dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize