i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
