I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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