An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
