Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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