Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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