She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
