Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
from now on my penis is your penis
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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