i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
