I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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