You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
